Advice for 5 Year Olds

1. No! -  When you are a corporate mogul, or have some powerful position in life, you may never have to take "No" for an answer.  But for now, you're 5, and "No" is a perfectly good answer.  Take it.

2. Take A Nap - For the love of everything that is good... take a nap.  It makes you happier, it makes Mommy happier, and you need it.  When you are all grown up, you'll wish you could still take naps.  Take the nap.

3. You Probably Like It - Stop arguing over each and every item of food that isn't a chicken nugget.  Just because you don't recognize it, doesn't mean you don't like it.  It means you don't like it YET.  Not liking it, and DISliking it are two entirely different things.  Take a chance... take a bite.

4. Stop Sneaking Into Mommy & Daddy's Room -  You are just freaking everyone out.  You have a really cool room, all decorated up, just for you.  Your room is full of your stuffed animals, your toys, your special bed sheets... everything... just for you.  Stay there until somebody comes to get you.  If you sneak into your parents room, and climb into their bed, they won't sleep well... .then they'll be grumpy... then they'll be upset with you... then you won't get to do all the fun stuff you want to do... then you'll be upset... which will make them more upset... and it's just a vicious cycle.  Besides, if you keep going into your parents room to sleep, you'll never get any more brothers and sisters to play with.  Check back in eight years, and we'll explain why.

5. Bedtime Is Not A Fashion Show - Just put on whatever pajamas you are given, and go to bed.  You are going to be sleeping... neither you, nor anyone else will be looking at them.  It doesn't matter whether they are your Hulk, Spiderman, or Scooby Doo pajamas... they all keep you warm.

6. Go To Bed - Every second with the "I need to tell you something", "I think I forgot to give you a hug", "I need a drink", "I need to potty"...  Brush your little teeth, get a drink, go potty, give us a hug, and go lay down... and just stay there.  

7. Eat What You Order - I didn't force the corn dog on you.  You asked for it.  Why are you just sitting there?  Why are you playing?  It's eating time.  We are going to be leaving the restaurant soon.  No, you don't need a toy from the machine... maybe you can get something if you eat.  You don't need a refill on chocolate milk... you need to eat.  You are not even eating, so why does it look like Armageddon just went off under your chair?  No, you can't get up and walk around.  You need to potty... again?  Please just take some bites.  Seriously... we are leaving.  Just three more bites, we need to go!!  (exiting the parking lot)  What's that?... You're hungry?   Great.

8. Commercials Are Made By Liars - That toy is not as fun as it looks.  All toy guns are the same... just different colors, with different bullets.  You already have a room full of toys that you don't play with.  They don't make good toys... they just make good commercials.

9. Let's Change The Video - We have an entire library of videos for you to watch.  You don't need to watch the same video 63 times a day.  You know all the words, you know all the songs, and it's getting weird.  Let's watch a different video each time.  Mommy will love you even more.

10. One Set Of Clothes Per Day - Look... life isn't a fashion show, with multiple wardrobe changes.  Unless something really crazy happens, you can wear that same outfit all day.  Your poor Mommy thought she was finished with your laundry, and thought you had enough clothes for a few more days.  If you didn't get permission for the last 7 costume changes... at least give Mommy a heads up before it's time to get dressed to go somewhere.

 

Advice For Late People

1. Develop Some Character - That might seem harsh, but being late all the time is a serious character flaw, is very insulting to others, and is a very poor testimony.  Ask the Lord to help you in that area of your life.  Yes... it's that big of a deal.

2. Set Alarms - Alarms will help you, if forgetfulness is the problem you are having.  Setting multiple alarms could help you have more of a sense of urgency.

3. Move Your Clock Ahead - If you move your clock ahead a few minutes, this could really help... unless you give in to the urge to always think you have a few extra minutes.  I used to set my clock 10 minutes ahead... and I always tried to be 10 minutes early... that way, if I was ever 15 minutes late, I still had 5 minutes to spare.

4. Plan Ahead - If you need to get up early, set out clothes the night before, go to bed early, and visualize yourself getting out the door on time.  Well begun is half-done... so plan ahead.

5. Think More Of Others - Being late to meetings, appointments, etc, tells people that you believe you are more important than they are.  That's not a good thing.  Read the words of the Apostle Paul:  Romans 12:10 "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;".  The very next verse is about being slothful in business.  Here's the deal... you don't show up to doctor's appointments late... they won't see you.  You wouldn't show up to court late... you would lose your favor with the judge.  Why do you think less of others?  Do you feel like you have the upper hand with "regular people"?   That's wicked thinking... see #1.   Yes... it's that big of a deal.

6. Fine Yourself - If you are going to be late for a meeting... make yourself buy a meal for everyone.  That way, you aren't the selfish jerk that couldn't make it on time... again.  Not this time... this time, you're the person who brought breakfast tacos... or Chick-Fil-A sandwiches.  When it hits your wallets a couple of times, you'll be amazed at how quickly you become more punctual.  If food isn't appropriate, pay your fine in the form of a donation.  It'll go to a good cause, and still teach you the lesson.

7. Start Earlier - Accidents happen on the roads, tires go flat, batteries die... stuff happens.  If you are starting early enough, you can overcome problems that arise, and still make it on time.

8. Don't Burn Up Your "Emergencies" - Life happens (see #7 above).  If traffic is heavy all the time... traffic is not a valid excuse for being late.  In our area (Dallas/Fort Worth), traffic is bad every morning... and most other times, too.  Because of that, there are multiple radio stations that give "up to the minute" traffic reports, at least every ten minutes.  The occasional emergency happens to all of us.  If you burn up your share of emergencies, due to your poor planning, people will be constantly frustrated with your inability to show up on time.  Refer again to #1.

9. Consider The Consequences - We all have to think about how our actions affect others.  If you are late to meetings, either you are uninformed or someone has to give you the information that you missed.  If it's a lunch date, you caused the other person/people to waste valuable time, and you tied up the restaurant's table for longer than necessary, potentially costing money to the waiter or business.  Your constant tardiness causes people to lose respect for (and confidence in) you.  It's impossible to know how many opportunities, promotions, raises, etc., have been lost, simply because someone couldn't be trusted to be where they were supposed to be... on time.

10. Glean Wisdom From Others - Consider these famous sayings about being on time:

"Never leave to be on time to be on time."

Brian Spellman, If the Mind Fits, Shrink It

"Arriving late is a way of saying that your time is more valuable than the time of the person who waited for you." 

Karen Joy Fowler

"Lose an hour in the morning, and you'll spend all day looking for it." 

Richard Whately

"Be on time if you can't be there early." 

Robin Sharma

"Part of success is being at the right place at the right time" 

Roger Reierson

That One Rule #1568 - "Better late than never, but never late is better."

......and as always.....refer to #1