1. No! - When you are a corporate mogul, or have some powerful position in life, you may never have to take "No" for an answer. But for now, you're 5, and "No" is a perfectly good answer. Take it.
2. Take A Nap - For the love of everything that is good... take a nap. It makes you happier, it makes Mommy happier, and you need it. When you are all grown up, you'll wish you could still take naps. Take the nap.
3. You Probably Like It - Stop arguing over each and every item of food that isn't a chicken nugget. Just because you don't recognize it, doesn't mean you don't like it. It means you don't like it YET. Not liking it, and DISliking it are two entirely different things. Take a chance... take a bite.
4. Stop Sneaking Into Mommy & Daddy's Room - You are just freaking everyone out. You have a really cool room, all decorated up, just for you. Your room is full of your stuffed animals, your toys, your special bed sheets... everything... just for you. Stay there until somebody comes to get you. If you sneak into your parents room, and climb into their bed, they won't sleep well... .then they'll be grumpy... then they'll be upset with you... then you won't get to do all the fun stuff you want to do... then you'll be upset... which will make them more upset... and it's just a vicious cycle. Besides, if you keep going into your parents room to sleep, you'll never get any more brothers and sisters to play with. Check back in eight years, and we'll explain why.
5. Bedtime Is Not A Fashion Show - Just put on whatever pajamas you are given, and go to bed. You are going to be sleeping... neither you, nor anyone else will be looking at them. It doesn't matter whether they are your Hulk, Spiderman, or Scooby Doo pajamas... they all keep you warm.
6. Go To Bed - Every second with the "I need to tell you something", "I think I forgot to give you a hug", "I need a drink", "I need to potty"... Brush your little teeth, get a drink, go potty, give us a hug, and go lay down... and just stay there.
7. Eat What You Order - I didn't force the corn dog on you. You asked for it. Why are you just sitting there? Why are you playing? It's eating time. We are going to be leaving the restaurant soon. No, you don't need a toy from the machine... maybe you can get something if you eat. You don't need a refill on chocolate milk... you need to eat. You are not even eating, so why does it look like Armageddon just went off under your chair? No, you can't get up and walk around. You need to potty... again? Please just take some bites. Seriously... we are leaving. Just three more bites, we need to go!! (exiting the parking lot) What's that?... You're hungry? Great.
8. Commercials Are Made By Liars - That toy is not as fun as it looks. All toy guns are the same... just different colors, with different bullets. You already have a room full of toys that you don't play with. They don't make good toys... they just make good commercials.
9. Let's Change The Video - We have an entire library of videos for you to watch. You don't need to watch the same video 63 times a day. You know all the words, you know all the songs, and it's getting weird. Let's watch a different video each time. Mommy will love you even more.
10. One Set Of Clothes Per Day - Look... life isn't a fashion show, with multiple wardrobe changes. Unless something really crazy happens, you can wear that same outfit all day. Your poor Mommy thought she was finished with your laundry, and thought you had enough clothes for a few more days. If you didn't get permission for the last 7 costume changes... at least give Mommy a heads up before it's time to get dressed to go somewhere.
No comments:
Post a Comment