Advice for Newlyweds

Answers to the Questions You Never Asked:

Advice for Newlyweds

Pastor David Grice
Lighthouse Baptist Church - Grand Prairie, Texas

1. Honor God - If you will honor the Lord in your marriage, He will bless you and your family.

2. Be married - Don't try to live like you are still single.  That's over. Nobody made you get married.  You decided that on your own. Be married.  You didn't die... but your priorities should change immediately.

3. Keep your eyes on the road - Have eyes for your spouse only.  If you let your eyes wander, your mind will wander, your feet will wander, and then you'll wonder how you got yourself into a great big mess.

4. Get over yourself - You just made some really serious promises to your spouse (and God).  It isn't about "you" anymore.  Get over that quickly.

5. Give yourself - Give yourself to your spouse, to the relationship, to the success of your marriage.

6. Combine your finances immediately - The battle cry of the stupid newlywed is "this is my money, and that's their money".  Don't be an idiot.  There's no formula to calculate what is fair.  Separate accounts leads to jealousy, deception, lack of trust, and failure.   Put all the money together, and work diligently together to decide where it all goes.  I know your situation is different, and you have all these great reasons to keep your accounts separate... but I'm right and your wrong.  The sooner you come to terms with that, the better. Combine your finances.

7. Stop yelling at one another - You didn't get married to inflict pain on one another.  Stop the yelling, and grow up enough to communicate like rational adults.  Communication is key... and yelling is not effective communication for a couple.

8. Live within your means - Financial debt is an unnecessary cause of stress, and has ruined many couples.  You don't have to have everything your parents (or neighbors, or friends, or co-workers) have.  Buy what you can afford, and save for the rest.

9. Keep 'em like you got 'em - People change when they get married, and it makes everyone miserable. You used to laugh and have a great time together.  Keep it that way!!  Few married couples are really enjoying life.  Figure out what is causing that and change it, kill it, burn it, or stop it.  There's always a learning curve, but think back on when you were really wanting to spend every waking moment with your spouse.  You've got it!!  Make the most of it.

10. Make the most of the time before you have children - People without children often think everything will be the same, only with another little body in tow.  Nope.  It gets complicated. Enjoy the time with no children.  That will help you better enjoy the time when you do have children.  Kids are a wonderful blessing!  But they slow you down, take a toll on your finances, focus, energy, and sanity.  Use this time to strengthen your marriage. Having kids is going to be great!!  It will, however, be very different, so make the most of this (and every) season of your marriage.

                                                                   -- Bro. Grice