Advice to "Would Be" Missionaries

Being a good missionary is certainly an honorable thing.  It's also a very difficult endeavor....from beginning to reality.

1. Grow some thick skin- As you travel for deputation, you are going to see & hear things that will disappoint you, hurt you, and confuse you.  You can't take it personally.  Most people just don't "get it".  Somehow, rules for common decency don't apply to missionaries, and people (pastors included) will say and do crazy things to you.

2. Make sure you are God-called- Mission money is hard enough to come by, without the Mama-called/Daddy-sent crowd out there muddying the waters.  Either God called you or He didn't.  It's really not all that confusing.  If you "surrendered" under peer/parental/pastoral pressure....get out while you can, to minimize the damage to your family.

3. Don't Quit!!- Refer back to #2.  If God has called you, then stay prayed up, walk with the Lord, and trust Him.  Don't blame God if your hair-brained schemes don't work, if you didn't listen to the counsel of your pastor, or you face some serious challenges.

4. Have a plan-  You should be able to explain where you are going, and what God has called you to do when you get there.  Do all the research you can.  The Interwebs can put you in contact with real live people living all over the world that can be a great resource to you.....as you plan, plan, plan.  Talk to people living in the neighborhoods where you'll be living.  Are you starting a church, helping another missionary, or is it something else?

5. Be ethical- Pastors are skeptical sometimes, because there are so many "phantom" needs, guys that aren't up-front about family situations, etc.  If you have to lie or withhold information, in hopes of getting support....you might need to sit out for a while and get the situation corrected.  If you get busted not telling the truth....pastors would never gossip like a bunch of 13yr old girls....but they might call all the preachers they know, and ask them to pray for you.   Be truthful.

6. Know how much money you really need-  That's a tricky endeavor, but some guys have no clue what they are talking about.  I have asked some missionaries to help me understand how they came up with their needed amount...whether it's $2500 a month, or $10,000 a month.  I love it when a guy can pull out a pencil & paper and get it pretty close.....and I'm always amazed at how many get immediately angry.   Hey Bro....I didn't call you and ask you to come for a meeting....you called me....I'm just trying to understand where you are, what you need, and how far you are from the goal.   What I'm saying is.....if you only need $3500 a month, and someone has you raising $7000 a month....I'd like to know why.  Either you are going to be on deputation longer than necessary, wasting time and taking mission dollars, unnecessarily, that could be going to others.....or someone is hoping to seriously bolster the "work fund".  It takes a lot of money to accomplish worldwide missions.....I'm just praying that everyone is trying to be a good steward.

7. Don't go under-funded - If you read #6 wrong, this might seem like strange advice.  Listen....life is hard everywhere....even in your hometown, surrounded by your friends and family.  Go somewhere where you don't know anyone, and are struggling to learn the culture/language/etc....and add financial stress to that, and you have a recipe for potential disaster.  We've known families that were practically starving, because they didn't have enough money to eat...literally. Unless you are fasting for spiritual reasons, you should never have to go to bed hungry.  That's not wise. (Knowing this happens a lot makes me want to punch an over-funded, mansion-living, fat-daddy missionary in the throat).  Don't put your family in a bad situation.  Life will already have enough challenges.

8. Don't change- Life is about influence.  Have the right influences.  If you change (Bibles/doctrine/music style/standards/etc), that is being dishonest to the churches that you presented the ministry to, and who have partnered with you.  Be what you presented yourself to be.  No bait & switch.  See #5 again.

9. Communicate-  Whether it's a health problem, a church problem, a spiritual problem....or whatever....someone needs to know.  Your pastor at home, and your TRUSTED friends need to know what's going on with you.  People love you, and want to pray for you.  Sometimes, there's an "EMERGENCY" that needs immediate help, that never needed to become an emergency.....and wouldn't have, if only the missionary would have communicated with his support circle.  Not everything needs to go into a monthly prayer letter, but your pastor and close friends need to know.  Communicating also means letting supporting churches know about important changes.  If you have already moved back to the States, have quit the ministry, and are looking for another ministry here, or have quit the ministry altogether....and you have not communicated that to the churches, and are still receiving missions money from churches.....you are a liar and a cheat....wicked and and thief!!  If those words hurt....good.  They should hurt.  If you know you are going to be leaving the field you are partnered with churches to reach....you should let the churches know BEFORE you leave.  If that puts you in a bad financial situation, you ought to check your motives for leaving, and pray about whether or not God wants you to leave.  To leave, knowing you aren't going back, and still taking money...is stealing!!  If it wasn't stealing, you wouldn't have to fall silent and keep taking the money without telling the churches what you are doing.  This is a touchy subject with me, because I try to lead the way in our church for all of us to be sacrificial givers to missions.  We have given our mission money when our church couldn't even afford to pay us for 10 weeks.  Even during very trying financial times, our church never made our problem any of our missionaries' problem.  Yet, we have paid for unethical missionaries to have fabulous vacations, travel around the world, purchase airplanes that were not ultimately used for missions, buy new vehicles just before they quit, and much more.  Nobody will ever know (nor do they need to know) all that our church family does for missions....but we expect (pray for) honesty, morality, faithfulness, and communication from our missionaries.

 

10. Be There- Internet, email, Facebook, Skype, and other modes of communication make it easy for missionaries to stay in near-constant contact with "home".  The problem is....."home" should be where you are living now.  It seems like the more missionaries are able to communicate "back home", the more likely they are to quit, and go back "home".
There has to be some sort of balance.  The heart of the missionary should be right there, where they are living.  If they spend all their time on Facebook, they aren't getting used to being there on the mission field.  In fact, it can cause them to constantly be slapped in the face with all the day-to-day activities that they are missing...and it can cause deep depression.  I have talked to a lot of missionaries, and some are very honest about it....while others are in obvious denial.  If you have lived on the foreign field for over 6 months, and you are still crying yourself to sleep every night....you might seriously consider turning off the computer for a while, and walking the streets of the place God called you to, finding out what those people (the people God called you to reach) are doing.  You will likely make new friends, realize more ministry opportunities, learn the culture more quickly (by being in it), and begin to make it "home".  Missions is hard....if you are going to do what God called has called you to do.... BE THERE.  Live, eat, walk, talk, socialize, etc, among the people where you are.  If you don't do those things, you are doomed to fail.  Missionaries seem to be quitting...not because God has called them elsewhere....but, because their heart never made it with their luggage, to the mission field.  Don't talk about it....be about it.....be there!

Advice for 5 Year Olds

1. No! -  When you are a corporate mogul, or have some powerful position in life, you may never have to take "No" for an answer.  But for now, you're 5, and "No" is a perfectly good answer.  Take it.

2. Take A Nap - For the love of everything that is good... take a nap.  It makes you happier, it makes Mommy happier, and you need it.  When you are all grown up, you'll wish you could still take naps.  Take the nap.

3. You Probably Like It - Stop arguing over each and every item of food that isn't a chicken nugget.  Just because you don't recognize it, doesn't mean you don't like it.  It means you don't like it YET.  Not liking it, and DISliking it are two entirely different things.  Take a chance... take a bite.

4. Stop Sneaking Into Mommy & Daddy's Room -  You are just freaking everyone out.  You have a really cool room, all decorated up, just for you.  Your room is full of your stuffed animals, your toys, your special bed sheets... everything... just for you.  Stay there until somebody comes to get you.  If you sneak into your parents room, and climb into their bed, they won't sleep well... .then they'll be grumpy... then they'll be upset with you... then you won't get to do all the fun stuff you want to do... then you'll be upset... which will make them more upset... and it's just a vicious cycle.  Besides, if you keep going into your parents room to sleep, you'll never get any more brothers and sisters to play with.  Check back in eight years, and we'll explain why.

5. Bedtime Is Not A Fashion Show - Just put on whatever pajamas you are given, and go to bed.  You are going to be sleeping... neither you, nor anyone else will be looking at them.  It doesn't matter whether they are your Hulk, Spiderman, or Scooby Doo pajamas... they all keep you warm.

6. Go To Bed - Every second with the "I need to tell you something", "I think I forgot to give you a hug", "I need a drink", "I need to potty"...  Brush your little teeth, get a drink, go potty, give us a hug, and go lay down... and just stay there.  

7. Eat What You Order - I didn't force the corn dog on you.  You asked for it.  Why are you just sitting there?  Why are you playing?  It's eating time.  We are going to be leaving the restaurant soon.  No, you don't need a toy from the machine... maybe you can get something if you eat.  You don't need a refill on chocolate milk... you need to eat.  You are not even eating, so why does it look like Armageddon just went off under your chair?  No, you can't get up and walk around.  You need to potty... again?  Please just take some bites.  Seriously... we are leaving.  Just three more bites, we need to go!!  (exiting the parking lot)  What's that?... You're hungry?   Great.

8. Commercials Are Made By Liars - That toy is not as fun as it looks.  All toy guns are the same... just different colors, with different bullets.  You already have a room full of toys that you don't play with.  They don't make good toys... they just make good commercials.

9. Let's Change The Video - We have an entire library of videos for you to watch.  You don't need to watch the same video 63 times a day.  You know all the words, you know all the songs, and it's getting weird.  Let's watch a different video each time.  Mommy will love you even more.

10. One Set Of Clothes Per Day - Look... life isn't a fashion show, with multiple wardrobe changes.  Unless something really crazy happens, you can wear that same outfit all day.  Your poor Mommy thought she was finished with your laundry, and thought you had enough clothes for a few more days.  If you didn't get permission for the last 7 costume changes... at least give Mommy a heads up before it's time to get dressed to go somewhere.

 

Advice For Late People

1. Develop Some Character - That might seem harsh, but being late all the time is a serious character flaw, is very insulting to others, and is a very poor testimony.  Ask the Lord to help you in that area of your life.  Yes... it's that big of a deal.

2. Set Alarms - Alarms will help you, if forgetfulness is the problem you are having.  Setting multiple alarms could help you have more of a sense of urgency.

3. Move Your Clock Ahead - If you move your clock ahead a few minutes, this could really help... unless you give in to the urge to always think you have a few extra minutes.  I used to set my clock 10 minutes ahead... and I always tried to be 10 minutes early... that way, if I was ever 15 minutes late, I still had 5 minutes to spare.

4. Plan Ahead - If you need to get up early, set out clothes the night before, go to bed early, and visualize yourself getting out the door on time.  Well begun is half-done... so plan ahead.

5. Think More Of Others - Being late to meetings, appointments, etc, tells people that you believe you are more important than they are.  That's not a good thing.  Read the words of the Apostle Paul:  Romans 12:10 "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;".  The very next verse is about being slothful in business.  Here's the deal... you don't show up to doctor's appointments late... they won't see you.  You wouldn't show up to court late... you would lose your favor with the judge.  Why do you think less of others?  Do you feel like you have the upper hand with "regular people"?   That's wicked thinking... see #1.   Yes... it's that big of a deal.

6. Fine Yourself - If you are going to be late for a meeting... make yourself buy a meal for everyone.  That way, you aren't the selfish jerk that couldn't make it on time... again.  Not this time... this time, you're the person who brought breakfast tacos... or Chick-Fil-A sandwiches.  When it hits your wallets a couple of times, you'll be amazed at how quickly you become more punctual.  If food isn't appropriate, pay your fine in the form of a donation.  It'll go to a good cause, and still teach you the lesson.

7. Start Earlier - Accidents happen on the roads, tires go flat, batteries die... stuff happens.  If you are starting early enough, you can overcome problems that arise, and still make it on time.

8. Don't Burn Up Your "Emergencies" - Life happens (see #7 above).  If traffic is heavy all the time... traffic is not a valid excuse for being late.  In our area (Dallas/Fort Worth), traffic is bad every morning... and most other times, too.  Because of that, there are multiple radio stations that give "up to the minute" traffic reports, at least every ten minutes.  The occasional emergency happens to all of us.  If you burn up your share of emergencies, due to your poor planning, people will be constantly frustrated with your inability to show up on time.  Refer again to #1.

9. Consider The Consequences - We all have to think about how our actions affect others.  If you are late to meetings, either you are uninformed or someone has to give you the information that you missed.  If it's a lunch date, you caused the other person/people to waste valuable time, and you tied up the restaurant's table for longer than necessary, potentially costing money to the waiter or business.  Your constant tardiness causes people to lose respect for (and confidence in) you.  It's impossible to know how many opportunities, promotions, raises, etc., have been lost, simply because someone couldn't be trusted to be where they were supposed to be... on time.

10. Glean Wisdom From Others - Consider these famous sayings about being on time:

"Never leave to be on time to be on time."

Brian Spellman, If the Mind Fits, Shrink It

"Arriving late is a way of saying that your time is more valuable than the time of the person who waited for you." 

Karen Joy Fowler

"Lose an hour in the morning, and you'll spend all day looking for it." 

Richard Whately

"Be on time if you can't be there early." 

Robin Sharma

"Part of success is being at the right place at the right time" 

Roger Reierson

That One Rule #1568 - "Better late than never, but never late is better."

......and as always.....refer to #1

Advice to Older People

1. Get right with God - You don't have to be old to die, but at this point, you've beaten the odds.  Without delay, take some serious time and consider your relationship with the Lord (Not what you WANT it to be... but WHAT IT IS).  All things being equal, you'll be seeing the Lord sooner than most... so you really want to have things right.  Spend the rest of your life being a faithful example for believers.  Teach your children to teach their children the Bible.  What a shame it would be to get to Heaven and be missing some of your family members.  Your leadership in this area will help ensure, as much as possible, that everyone will be there.  The Lord is so good, and His mercies endure forever.  Walk with Him, and lead others to do the same.

2. Make or Update your will - This is just good to do, no matter what age you are.  The last thing you want, is for your family to be fighting over "stuff".  As a pastor, I have seen sweet families turn ugly on one another over the house, jewelry, Mom's collection of "whatever", and Dad's guns.  Please... have mercy on your grieving family, and get everything lined out ahead of time.

3. Make a living will - How long do you want to be on life-support?  What if you are in a temporary, medically-induced coma, then have a heart attack?  Do you really want your family to have to make these decisions?  Do they know your wishes?  Write it down.  If you wait until you are already circling the drain, it'll be too late.  

4. Have a Power of Attorney in place - There should be someone designated (and a back-up) to make important decisions for you, if/when you are unable to speak for yourself.  Make sure that person knows your desire, agrees to serve you and your family in that capacity, and knows where the document is that gives them that authority/responsibility.  Your P.O.A. can be as broad, or specific, as you like.  Try to think of everything, because people get emotional and stressed when you are so sick/injured that you can't speak for yourself.

5. Forgive - I meet with lots of families, and it seems that so many people live with unnecessary regrets.  Give up whatever happened in the past, and just forgive.  It's not weakness, it's not for the other person... it's good for you... it's needful for you.  Unforgiveness gives someone from your past, power over your present... and that just ain't right.  Truly forgive, and see how much more freedom you feel.

6. Go see your family - We are all so busy. Make all the memories you can. Spend some precious time with kids and grandkids.  It'll be good for you, and especially good for them.  As of this writing, we buried my Mom two months ago.  Those last few visits are all the more precious.

7. Take lots of pictures - Photos capture memories, and can live on forever.  They are a constant reminder of your love, special times, and other memories.  The more, the better.  It's a precious thing to look at photos from relatives that live far away, or that have already passed away.

8. Leave something behind - The Bible says:  Proverbs 13:22 "A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children:...".  What do you have to leave behind that might be a blessing to someone?  Personally, I have the shotgun that belonged to my father, when he was just a boy. When I hunt with it, I love to call and share the details of the hunt with Dad.  I have my Great Uncle's old BB-gun.  I have great memories of shooting that bb gun, that earned me that BB-gun!  We also have items from my wife's side of the family, including a beautiful hutch, many beautiful paintings, and tons of family memories.  Whether it's a piece of furniture, a special gun, a painting, a trust fund, or a piece of special jewelry... there are some sweet treasures that can be passed along, that can provide joy... and you don't have to wait until you are gone to be a blessing.  Also, it doesn't have to be just your family that gets blessed.  You could leave a gift to a friend, to a special co-worker, or to the work of the Lord. We've had older church members that did amazing things for the Lord, gave sacrificially to the physical and financial parts of the ministry, and were a blessing all the way to the end of their life here on Earth... and even beyond.

9. Have some fun - You aren't getting any younger, and probably not getting more healthy.  It's now or never.  Take that trip, walk that trail, jump out of that plane, take that cruise, go for high-score on Pac-Man, take that mission trip, go fishing... do something.  Keep moving, take up a hobby, and never slow down on purpose.

10. Stop being "busy" - Of all the 90+ year old people I know (and I know several), NOT ONE of them tells me about how they wish they had worked more overtime, completed one more work project, or attended one more meeting.  It's always regrets about not spending more time with family, not doing more for the Lord, and not taking time to take better care of themselves.  Time's a wastin'!!  There's no better time than the present to get your priorities right.  Busy is the battle cry of the family that's falling apart.  Take time to love, teach, and influence your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews.  They need you... now.  We aren't guaranteed tomorrow...

so let's get today right!

Advice About Finances

1. Money is NOT the root of all evil.  Paul admonished Timothy about the LOVE of money:

1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 

Some people's fascination & desire for money has led to their ruin.  Don't get carried away with the pursuit of money.

2. Money can't buy you happiness -  (While it can buy Camaros and tacos...and that's really good...happiness is not in the catalog.)  We need to learn to be content with where we are at the moment, while being motivated to pursue our goals, hopes, and dreams.  (1 Timothy 6:6-8)

3. Don't spend more than you make - You don't have to be a rocket surgeon to figure that out, but you do have to be really steadfast to put it into practice. (Proverbs 22:7)

4. Work - Don't be a bum.  Work really smart and really hard.  Don't be lazy!  You need to provide for the needs of your family.  Tragedy strikes, layoffs happen, and sometimes people genuinely need some help...but in most cases, the first place you should look for a helping hand is at the end your own arm.  Get busy taking care of your yourself and your family (1 Timothy 5:8)

5. Make wise decisions - Do some research, and be wise when it comes to your finances.  Many families are struggling, because of self-inflicted wounds.  We can't always get it right, but we can learn from our mistakes, and quit making them over and over again.  (Proverbs 22:3)

6. Stop rolling one car debt into the next one - Something is wrong if the car you are driving is worth less than what you owe.  Either you made a poor choice when you purchased the vehicle, or you didn't take care of it once you got it.  Either one is not good, and should not be lumped into the price (debt) of the next vehicle.  This starts you off "upside down" in your next vehicle, even before you drive it off the lot.  Somehow, get yourself caught up on your vehicle costs, and learn to take care of your equipment. (Proverbs 27:12....no, your eyes didn't deceive you...isn't that awesome?)

7. Save money - Put money back for rainy days (or weeks or months).  If you're not prepared for a layoff, extended illness, or other major problem, you could find yourself in a lot of distress.  Financial professionals advise two or three months of living expense as an "emergency fund".  While that doesn't seem realistic for people who are living paycheck to paycheck...your inability to have this should tell you that you are living beyond your means. Make changes (in income or outflow) so that you can adequately provide for your needs...no matter what. (Proverbs 13:11)

8. Wait - Be willing to wait for things that you can't afford today, rather than instantly putting every "want" on a credit card.  Think of credit cards as DEBT cards...because that's exactly what they are.  (Luke 14:28)

9. Have some fun - I had a relative ask me how we afforded to go on vacations.  Because I'm very direct, I asked him how much he spent on Copenhagen, how much his wife spent on cigarettes, how much they spent on beer, how much they spent on lottery tickets,

how much they spent going to the movies, and so on.  We don't spend money on any of those things...and it adds up. We choose, instead, to spend a little on trips.

Just because you don't make a lot of money, doesn't mean you can't have some fun...and you can't put a price on making memories with your family.  Whether we are buying a load of scrap bread at the discount bakery to go feed the ducks & fish at the lake, going camping at a State Park, or taking an off-season cruise, it doesn't have to cost a fortune to have some serious fun.  My philosophy is this...we can always get more money, but we will never have opportunities to make memories with our family at "this age"...whatever that age happens to be.  We aren't guaranteed tomorrow...so if my family faces tomorrow without me, I sure want them to have some pleasant memories from our time together.  That's not morbid...that's motivation.  (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20)

10. Be creative -  There are lots of ways to provide extra income for your family...and most of them are legal.  Don't make excuses about not knowing how to do something.  The internet, YouTube videos, Pinterest, and other venues make all excuse-making void.  Buy & sell stuff, make things, work a side job for a while, provide a service...just do something.  It's no harder for you than it is for most people.  Get to work for whatever you need & want.  You can do it. (Proverbs

6:6-8)    

Advice For Those Who Really Want to Go to Hell

1. Don't go to church - Those church people all obviously need a crutch, and going to church helps them have that. They need to be around other people who want to learn more about God, and they like spending time together.  If you really want to go to Hell, you don't need that in your life. Besides, lots of people who go to church end up believing on Jesus and trusting in the Lord, and that would totally mess things up for you.

2. Don't read your Bible - This a major danger for you who are wanting to go to Hell. Too many people who set out to prove the Bible wrong, have read it over and over, and ended up believing it, and trusting Jesus Christ to be their Saviour. Be really careful about reading the Bible (specifically that King James Bible), or it might change your life... even your eternity.  You can't risk it.

3. Don't let those Christians shove their religion down your throat - Those guys are always doing crazy stuff... like praying over their meals even if you can see them, or inviting you to some special event at their church (see #1... it's a trap!), or they might even try to talk about Jesus with you (which is probably illegal... or something).  All that is a lot of pressure, and probably makes you feel strange.  If you want to go to Hell, you'll have to fight the urge to give in to that stuff.

4. Ignore that little voice - That is probably just the Holy Spirit trying to team up with Christians to mess with your mind. Even when that voice makes so much sense, and you really want to give in... you gotta fight it all the way.  You know that if you give in to that voice, you'll end up believing, and that would ruin all your plans of going to Hell, then being cast into the Lake of Fire for all eternity.

5. Throw away all Gospel tracts - Some people read those, and keep them around in a nightstand drawer to look at every once in a while. That's a really big risk, because those things have lots of Bible verses in them.  First you'll be curious, then you'll read it over and over, then that voice will start on you again, and you might end up believing.  Listen, you will never go to Hell if you trust on the Lord Jesus Christ... you've been warned.

6. Keep believing that all those Christians want is your money - Please completely ignore the fact that they have never asked you for money.  It's a trap.  Yes, they built a building for you to come visit, they printed all those Gospel tracts that they hand out for free, they give groceries to hungry families, they go out and pick kids up on church buses that burn a ton of gas, and all that is probably just a trick to get you to start giving money.  They are already paying all their bills, and giving to the poor, and supporting missions, and doing all this stuff without you... but it's probably a trick... probably.  Even though it doesn't make sense, you should keep on believing those rumors.  Keep your eyes on the handful of charlatans on television, and ignore all the thousands of small churches that just seem to be trying to reach their community for Christ.  If you ever got the idea that those local churches just loved Jesus... and you... you might end up visiting there to find out why they care about your soul.  See #1.

7. Don't think about missionaries and church planters - If you give much more than just a passing thought to the fact that many families have given up well-paying jobs with tons of security, to travel around the world to "shove their religion" down people's throats, it will cause all sorts of questions to pop up in your mind.  If you read about any of them, you would find out that they are doing what they feel like God is telling them to do. (See... that's why you have to be careful about listening to that small voice.  See #4)  These nuts leave their families, their homes, their culture, their language, and everything else they know, to go to an unfamiliar land to tell people about Jesus. Many of these missionaries might even employ tactics like feeding the hungry, providing a medical clinic, helping with disaster relief and saving lives. It's a coordinated effort with those churches you shouldn't visit, those Christians you shouldn't listen to, that voice you should ignore, that Bible you shouldn't read, and... well... you get it. Try to not to think about, because it just doesn't make sense.

8. Never research stuff for yourself - If you see a funny meme on Facebook that attacks the Bible, don't ever go back and read the whole context... or else that meme might not be funny anymore, and might end up being proven to be false. If you see statistics, believe them, because they couldn't put it on the internet if it wasn't true... probably.  If you are wanting to go to Hell, you can't allow anything to cause you to doubt any agenda that is trying to help you get there. 

9. Judge every Christian as a hypocrite - You hear it all the time, so it must be true.  Those people who seem like "goody-goodies" are probably just as bad as all the others. In the rest of life, it's okay to judge each individual on their own merits, but you don't want to do that with those Christians.  If you said that because lots of terrorists were Arabs, therefore ALL Arabs must want to rape your children, cut your head off, and blow up America, that would be seen as ridiculous, especially since there are so many Arabs that are pretending to be normal people just trying to care for their families.  If you said, because some black guy robbed a store, that all black people should be judged guilty and thrown into prison, that would be outrageous and racist.  If one of your own children made a mistake (lied, got into a fight, stole something, disobeyed you), you wouldn't punish them forever and deem all children as wicked, evil, little delinquents that could never be trusted.  That's different with Christians though, because those Christians talk about how perfect they are... I mean... you've never heard them say that they are perfect... and they deny being perfect when you ask them... but there are some that seem to have a little judgmental attitude, so it's probably okay to lump them all together as hypocrites.  If you judged each Christian on their own merits, you might realize that they are just humans who make mistakes, even though they believe in God.  That might mess up one of your greatest excuses ever, and you might end up violating #1-8 above.  If you are really serious about going to Hell... don't risk it.  Place a higher standard on anyone who has ever darkened the door of a church, and judge them all as hypocrites, just in case.

10. Ignore the Gospel - Whether it's coming from the Bible, a Gospel tract, or from the mouth of a believer, you just can't risk it.  The multiple eye-witness accounts that have been proven to be historically accurate are just dangerous for you. If you listen to that stuff, it will definitely change your life.  The fact that you (along with everyone else that has ever lived) are a sinner, and could never possibly earn your way to Heaven... the fact that the penalty for sin is death and Hell... the fact that Jesus died a substitutionary death to pay for you sins... the fact that He was buried and rose again (which was witnessed by over 500 people, and on many occasions)... the fact that God loves you that much... to send His own Son to die in your place, so you wouldn't have to go to Hell, but could have eternal life through and with Jesus Christ our Lord... must be ignored at all cost.

See, according to the Scriptures, if you were to believe the Gospel (death, burial, resurrection) and trust on the name of the Lord, you would be saved.  If you are seriously wanting to go to Hell, you have got to resist the urge to read the following verses:

Galatians  5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

1John  1:8  If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 

Romans  3:10   As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: 

Romans  3:23   For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; 

Ro 5:6-8   For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.  For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.  But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 

1Pe 3:18   For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit: 

Romans  6:23   For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. 

Romans  10:8-13  But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.  For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.  For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.  For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. 

Ephesians 2:8-9   For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  Not of works, lest any man should boast. 

Titus  3:5-7  Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. 

1 John 5:13  These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. 

John  10:28-29   And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.  My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. 

Obviously, I'm hoping that today's advice was useless to you, because you have trusted on the Lord Jesus Christ.  He loves us.  If you have any questions, please contact us.

brothergrice@sbcglobal.net

Advice for Young Families

1. Get involved in church - Not just "attend" church... but really be involved.  This will do several things, including help your family grow in Christ, stay spiritually focused together, build a support system (this is so important), and train your children to serve the Lord.  When serious problems happen in life, side-line church folk often drop out completely, while those who are very involved seem to rise up out the ashes even stronger than before. 

2. Get your priorities set - You really want to do this as soon as possible. Without a well-defined list of priorities, you will waste money and time.  Time is the stuff life is made of... don't waste time.  Don't freak out if these priorities change over time, just keep moving toward your goals.

3. Live in a place you can afford - This will partially be determined by #2.  There is a lot of stress when you can hardly pay your bills, because you have too much house.  Be sensible, and get a safe, quality home that meets the needs of your family.

4. Drive what you can afford - The sooner you outgrow the immature notion that you have to maintain a certain "image" by what you drive, the better.  If your family sometimes struggles financially, you might not need $3000 wheels on your car.

5. Take vacations - You need to spend time with your family.  Make some memories.  If you can expose your children to foreign cultures, that would be wonderful.  It's big world out there, and there's lots to see and do.  It doesn't have to cost a fortune... see #2 again.  Whether you are camping at the State Park, driving to another state, touring National Parks, going on a cruise, flying to a resort, visiting theme parks, or going to spend time with relatives... take vacations.  Some of the greatest family memories are vacation memories.  Turn the phone off, turn the world off, and spend time together.  You'll be glad you did.

6. Eat meals together - In this fast-paced society we live in, we often have to eat on the run.  There are many benefits to having at least one meal a day, sitting together at a table.  There have been several studies that show this is important.  Try to have that mean without all the electronic interruptions, too.  Go crazy, and actually talk to one another.

7. Have "Date Night" - Leave the kids with someone else, and get away.  You need to look your spouse in the eyes, and talk.  It's going to be really awkward if you use children as an excuse to never spend time together... then, when your children grow up and move away, you find yourself living with a stranger that you happen to be married to.  Dates don't have to be fancy restaurants... go to the lake and watch the boats go by, take a long walk, play Frisbee, rent some horses, or find something else that you like to do together.

8. Save money - Don't be wasters.  Put money back all the time.  The more, the better.  It will take stress away when you need car repairs, have a layoff, have to make home repairs, or need to help someone.  Money doesn't solve everything (at all), but it can give you more options.

9. Have fun - Enjoy life.  Work a job that you enjoy, if you can.  Spend time with people that make you happy, and enrich your life.  Try to find out what your family likes to do, and have fun to together.  Laugh a lot.  There's enough pain in this world, to go around... enjoy what you can.

10.  Make friends - To do that, you'll need to be a faithful friend.  Teach your children to make friends.  Be friends within your own extended family, if you can.  Make friends with church family.  Make friends with neighbors.  Make friends that go to other churches... or that maybe don't go to church at all.  Use your friendships and circle of influence to draw people closer to Christ, make them stronger with your help, to meet needs, and have needs met.  Fight the urge to be "clannish", and to keep to yourself.  Be the type of family that other people want and need to be around, and spend time with people that help your family to be even stronger.  Don't waste time with negative people that will slow you down, or hinder your family's spiritual growth.  Let the light of Jesus Christ shine through your family!!